


Avoiding Jeremy

by imnotherehonest



Series: Work in Progress [1]
Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 19:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14362092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotherehonest/pseuds/imnotherehonest
Summary: Simon has been avoiding Jeremy since that conversation after the party, but we all know it can't stay that way. Here's my rehash of the infamous car park scene to add to the growing pile!





	Avoiding Jeremy

**Author's Note:**

> If some of the colloquialisms like "car park" and "parking lot" get mixed up, I apologise. Too British to function.

Simon has been avoiding Jeremy since the party. Avoiding eye contact, avoiding proximity, avoiding conversation. He’d turned around to avoid being spotted in the hallway. He had sat on the other side of their math classroom to have an excuse not to interact with him. He’s not going to slow down now, even if it means striding off into the parking lot as Jeremy calls after him to wait.

This is just how it has to be. He needs to stay away from Jeremy.

Even the brief glance back, just the reflex response to hearing his name, and Simon’s chest tightens. Simon forces away the memories of hopefully blue eyes, grits his teeth and keeps walking. Jeremy just speeds up to follow. Simon can almost feel the other boy’s presence next to him, just behind him, like a glow of warmth.

He has to avoid Jeremy.

He keeps his words short. He keeps his eyes ahead. He has to go home. He just needs to get in his car and away from Jeremy and away from this feeling. Away from the little bursts of warmth in his chest when Jeremy smiles, away from those soft blue eyes that Simon can’t seem to look away from. Away from Jeremy. But somehow, Jeremy isn’t getting the message.

He can hear the slight smile in Jeremy’s voice. For a millisecond Simon wants to turn and look at the other boy. He wants to abandon every thought, every fear about what it all means and just look at Jeremy, and just breathe. Simon shoves the idea aside angrily.

Why won’t Jeremy leave him alone? Jeremy doesn’t stop talking.

“I thought we had something,” Jeremy is saying. Something fragile flutters painfully in Simon’s chest. It feels like he’s missed a step. His stomach swoops. He hates himself for the feeling, for wanting. He hears Jeremy say: “We can just be friends -”

Frustration bubbles through; scorching, distracting, safe.

“What else would we be?” Simon snaps, letting the irritation take over. He nearly turns to look Jeremy in the face then, almost forgetting before he catches himself at the last moment. A wave of hatred and panic crashes over him. He wants to be somewhere else, anywhere else. He wants to throw a tantrum and scream until all of the feelings are gone. But he shuts it down. He sets his face. Says the first thing that comes to mind. He just needs Jeremy to go away.

“But right now you’re acting kinda creepy.” Simon hears his voice as if from a long distance away. It’s venomous. And he feels the impact immediately.

Jeremy stops. His voice breaks just a touch as he says goodnight.

Simon stops. That came out wrong. Against everything screaming at him in his head to just leave, Simon turns around. Jeremy is turning to go, but the ache in Simon’s chest tugs at him. He feels his resolve disintegrate. He feels exposed. The words won’t come.

“That’s not what I –” he starts. “It’s just –” He wants to pull back the safety of the icy façade. But the warmth buried deep in his gut every time he lays eyes on his acting partner won’t let him. Part of him wants to go back to the security of an acted persona, but at the same time, he wants more. He doesn’t want to lose Jeremy altogether. He wants Jeremy to understand.He needs Jeremy to understand.

“You’ve been trying to get me to run lines with you, and hang out with you, and, and talk to you…” Simon finds himself stumbling over the words. He wants to disappear. But the hurt, hopeful look in Jeremy’s eyes holds him there. “I can’t! I just can’t!” Why won’t Jeremy understand?

“Hey, this is hard for me too.” Jeremy is saying. And somehow, Jeremy is still speaking in slow measured tones. Despite all the hurt in his eyes. The hurt that Simon has caused. “It’s not like I do this –”

“I don’t know what you want!” Simon feels the last of his carefully measured control snap. What is he supposed to do? What are any of them supposed to do? How is he supposed to know what to do? And Jeremy is coming toward him, earnest and open.

“I want you to be honest,” the other boy pleads and Simon is in free-fall. Can it really be that simple?

“Do you feel something when you’re with me?” Jeremy says. “Do you feel this?” Simon’s feels his insides lurch.

Jeremy is right there in front of him. He can’t look away. He can’t pull back the feeling from his face – all the fear, all the want. He can’t move, he feels like he can’t breathe. There is nothing else. Just those eyes, looking into his soul. Just Jeremy right there in front of him. So close they could… Simon’s eyes flick to slightly parted lips.

They are so close that Simon can see the micro-expression twitch of a smile. He sees Jeremy lean in. He feels every nerve ending fire as he closes his eyes. Jeremy’s lips are soft. The warmth of his body so close sends a thrill through Simon. The hand on his shoulder burns and want wells desperately in Simons gut.

For a moment he feels nothing but warm and safe and whole as their lips move. He wants more.

Arousal spikes low in Simon’s pelvis. The moment is shattered.

Panic, sharp and sickening washes through him. He can’t look at Jeremy. He mustn’t look at Jeremy. He mustn’t think about the hurt surprise in blue eyes. He has to go. He has to go now.

As he starts the car Simon angrily fights off the choke of a sob. He wants to open the care door. He wants to go back and keep kissing Jeremy. He wants. But he can’t. He just can’t. But what does he do now?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you like, because my brain is awash and obsessed with Rise right now. If they might be appreciated, I can almost certainly spew more scribbles forth unto the barren land that is the current landscape of the Rise fandom.


End file.
